A three-year-old boy throws tantrums and pleads with his mother not to take him to daycare. Concerned, she decides to visit unannounced, and what she discovers leaves her stunned.
“No, mommy, no!” Johnny flung himself onto the floor, screaming. Marla Evans sighed, frustrated. Not again! If Johnny had a full-blown tantrum, she’d be late once more.
She looked at her three-year-old in exasperation. Johnny had been attending daycare for two years and always enjoyed it. But suddenly, for the past week, he had been causing a scene, begging Marla not to take him.
She had consulted with their pediatrician, who mentioned that toddlers often go through the ‘terrible threes.’ “Stop it!” Marla shouted, surprising even herself, then saw the fear in Johnny’s eyes. Something wasn’t right.
Marla realized this was more than just a tantrum, but what could it be?
“Honey, I’m sorry. Mommy didn’t mean to yell. Why don’t you like daycare anymore?”
Johnny trembled in her arms and whispered, “I don’t like it!”
“But why, sweetie?” Marla asked. “Are the other kids mean?” Yet Johnny didn’t answer. Marla sighed. “Baby, mommy has to go to work, but I promise I’ll come to get you early today, okay?”
Johnny perked up in her lap. “No lunch?” He looked up at her with anxious eyes. “No lunch, mommy?”
Lunch? Marla frowned in concern. What was going on with her son?
Marla dropped Johnny off, promising to pick him up before lunch. He entered the daycare quietly but cast a pleading look back at her that broke her heart.
At work, Marla requested the afternoon off for a personal matter. Her boss, also a mom, understood.
Determined to uncover the reason behind Johnny’s reluctance, Marla decided to drop by the daycare—not before lunch, as promised, but during the meal.
Johnny’s daycare didn’t allow parents into the playrooms or dining areas, but each door had a large window. Marla hoped to observe any issues.
Upon arrival, the receptionist informed her the children were having lunch. Marla walked to the dining room and peered in. The kids were seated at tables, eating, with a teacher or assistant supervising each table. She quickly spotted Johnny with an unfamiliar woman beside him.
Marla watched as the woman picked up Johnny’s spoon, scooped some mashed potatoes, and pressed it to his lips. “Eat!” she commanded. Johnny shook his head vigorously, keeping his mouth shut, tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Open your mouth and eat!” the woman demanded angrily. Johnny looked distressed. “You’re staying here until your plate is clean!” she added.
Marla saw the small amount of mince, mash, and vegetables on Johnny’s plate and knew her son wasn’t a big eater. She never forced him to eat more than he wanted.
When Johnny opened his mouth to protest, the teacher quickly shoved the spoon in, causing him to choke and sputter. Marla had seen enough. She burst into the room.
“Get away from my son!”
“Parents aren’t allowed in the dining room!” the woman protested.
“They should be,” Marla retorted, trying to control her anger. “Can’t you see Johnny’s had enough? He’s a healthy boy but not a big eater. As an educator, you should know how traumatic force-feeding can be for a child.
“Making a child clear their plate is outdated. You should understand the causes of obesity and eating disorders in children, one of which is making food a battleground.
“My son is active, and if he says he’s full, you need to respect that. Forcing food into a child’s mouth like that is unacceptable! These children are individuals with their own needs and boundaries, which you must respect to teach them they deserve respect.
“This isn’t the message you want to send, is it?”
The teacher turned red and stood. “I never…”
“That’s unfortunate,” Marla said sharply. “Because if it happens again, I’ll ensure you lose your job. I won’t let my son be mistreated at daycare!”
Marla gently wiped Johnny’s mouth. “Come on, honey,” she said softly. “Mommy promised you a treat this afternoon!”
She had a long talk with Johnny, and there was no tantrum the next day. In the following weeks, Marla occasionally checked in at lunchtime. The teacher never forced Johnny to eat again, and he regained his good humor and eagerness for daycare.