A tour bus driver was cruising around town with a bus full of elderly folks when, suddenly, a little old lady tapped him on the shoulder.
She smiled while handing him a handful of peanuts.
Gratefully, he munched them down, thinking, “Older people are generous and kind.”
About fifteen minutes later, she tapped him again and offered him another handful of peanuts, and he happily ate them.
This happened a few more times until, out of curiosity, he finally asked, “Why don’t you all eat the peanuts yourselves? Maybe pass them around to the rest of the passengers?”
“Oh, don’t worry about us, dear,” the old woman said with a sweet, toothless smile. “We just love sucking the chocolate off them.”
Outsmarted by a 9-Year-Old
A farmer drove over to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door.
A 9-year-old boy answered.
“Hey there, is your mom or dad home?” the farmer asked.
“Nope, they went to town,” the boy replied.
“How about your brother Howard? Is he around?”
“Nope, he went with them.”
The farmer stood there awkwardly for a moment, shifting from one foot to the other. The boy, noticing his hesitation, offered, “I know where all the tools are if you need to borrow one. Or I can give Dad a message!”
The farmer sighed. “Well, uh… I really need to talk to your dad. It’s about your brother Howard… he got my daughter Suzy pregnant!”
The boy thought for a second and shrugged. “Hmm. You’ll have to ask Dad about that. I know he charges $50 for the bulls and $15 for the pigs, but I have no idea what he charges for Howard!”