Julie McFadden is a hospice nurse who has witnessed a lot of de:aths throughout her life. Very often, she speaks of the reality of dying in an attempt to help people understand the process of leaving this world through the behaviors seen in those nearing d:eath.
It is her mission to “alleviate the fear and stigma around de:ath.”
She has dedicated her career to helping individuals and families navigate the final stages of life. Apart from her professional work, Julie has authored a book and built a significant social media presence. She’s focusing on themes of death and dying.
In the videos she posts on the social media, she shares insights of the last moments of life of her patients – from their last words and their biggest regrets, to certain behaviors they display.
Speaking of some of the most disturbing moments the loved ones of the dying person experience are the changes in breathing at the person who is about to live the world.
This is known as Cheyne–Stokes breathing, happening because of metabolic changes in the body.
These changes are normal, and even if they happen, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the patient is suffering. Still, their loved ones understand it as a suffering and most of them say it’s something they “wished they would have known about.”
“You can see that chest rapidly breathing, and then a long pause […] and then rapid breathing again,” she explained.
Another of the behaviors seen in those nearing de:ath, as explained by Julie is the “de:ath rattle.”
This happens when the mouth creates saliva but the brain doesn’t communicate to the body to teel it to swallow it, leading to a strange gurgling noise.
@hospicenursejulie #hospicenursejulie #PrimeDayDreamDeals #deathrattle #terminal #learnontiktok #itsokay #youdidgood ♬ Almost Idyllic – Sleeping At Last
“People hear it, they don’t understand it, they automatically assume it’s coming from their lungs. That is not happening. It’s truly just a little bit of saliva,” Julie explained.
“This is not making them feel that they are suffocating, and we know this because the body is showing that it is relaxed,” she added.
She shared that human bodies are built to know how to prepare themselves for d:ying.
Further, Julie described how she can detect initial signs that someone is likely to die a natural death approximately six months beforehand, allowing her to recognize when a person may be in their final half year of life, even if others do not yet see it.
So, what are the signs a person is dying at the 6-month mark?
According to Nurse Julie, patients are often placed in hospice care once these signs start to show.
“You will have very generalized symptoms. Those symptoms will usually be, one, you will be less social. So you’ll be more introverted than extroverted,” she said. “Two, you will be sleeping a lot more. And three, you will be eating and drinking a lot less. Literally, everyone on hospice, I see this happen to.”
What are the signs a person is dying at the 3-month mark?
“You are going to notice more debility,” she continues. “They will be staying in their house most of the time. It’s going to be difficult getting up and just going to the bathroom. Again, sleeping a lot more and eating and drinking a lot less.”
What are the signs a person is dying at the 1-month mark?
During the final month of a person’s life, they may begin to believe they are in contact with deceased relatives or friends. These experiences are often described as comforting and may help them become more accepting of their final transition.
“Usually around the one month mark is when people will start seeing ‘the unseen’, they have the visioning. They’ll be seeing dead relatives, dead loved ones, dead pets, old friends who have died,” Julie said in one of her videos. “Again, not everyone — but many, many people will start seeing these things at around one month.”
@hospicenursejulie Replying to @Mariah educating yourself about scary topics will help decrease fear. ✨Nothing to Fear ✨- my book- out june 11th #hospicenursejulie #hospicenurse #caregiversoftiktok #medicaltiktok #learnontiktok #nothingtofearbook ♬ original sound – 💕 Hospice nurse Julie 💕
Other people who have been working in hospice also share the same things happening with those who are nearing their life. Among them is Angela Morrow, a registered nurse at Verywell Health, who also agrees that people in the final stage of life often report sensing or hearing from those who have already passed away.
In her view, caregivers and relatives should not confront patients while discussing their encounters with the spirits of deceased persons or animals. Rather, they should listen patiently and answer with empathy, despite the strangeness of the situation. This way, they will ensure a feeling of security among patients instead of making them confused, upset, or uncomfortable.
“You might feel frustrated because you can’t know for sure whether they’re hallucinating, having a spiritual experience, or simply confused. The uncertainty can be unsettling, but it’s part of the process,” Morrow writes.
In the final part of the video, Nurse Julie discusses the indicators used by nurses working in the area of palliative care for determining the stage of dying. According to her, the important aspects considered include eating, drinking, and sleeping habits. In fact, she mentions that before a person dies, usually a couple of weeks before death, they sleep much more than they are awake.“Most people, a few weeks out from death, will be sleeping more than they are awake. And they will be barely eating and barely drinking,” she said.
According to her, hospice care typically entails “allowing the body to be the guide” because the nurse watches all these changes very closely and guides the patient during the last phase of life. The nurse does not impose anything on the patient but only comforts and guides them.
Nurse Julie’s work has resonated deeply with many people online, especially those going through end-of-life experiences with loved ones. Her videos have offered reassurance during emotionally difficult moments. “My mom is in hospice right now and she’s currently, I think, hours or days from death. Your TikToks have helped me out tremendously,” Deb wrote. Others have shared similar feelings of comfort and understanding. “My grandma passed away in February, and she experienced all of this. this page brings me peace knowing everything she went through was natural,” Jaida added.
Healthcare workers have also expressed appreciation for her educational content. “Thanks, Julie. I volunteer in a hospice end-of-life facility, and this helps educate the families. Your posts are wonderful,” Grandma Nita wrote.
Ultimately, d:eath is a thing that is so hard to deal with partly due to its unpredictable nature. Through her open discussion of what she had been through, Julie McFadden brings some understanding to this topic by demonstrating that the process of dying is usually a normal process rather than an unexpected event. The message brought out by her is that hospice care is not about giving up but supporting the process.