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    Home » If someone asks you “how are you?”, it’s not always a good idea to answer: a reflection inspired by Carl Jung.
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    If someone asks you “how are you?”, it’s not always a good idea to answer: a reflection inspired by Carl Jung.

    Han ttBy Han tt16/02/20264 Mins Read
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    Picture this: you step outside in the morning. Cool air brushes your skin. You reach into your bag — and instead of coins or cash, it’s filled with shimmering gold dust.

    That gold is your life force.

    The Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung described it as psychic energy — the inner power that lets you imagine, work, love, create, stay patient, and preserve your peace. It is the soul’s fuel.

    Now ask yourself: if someone stopped you on the street and asked what was in your bag, would you spill your gold onto the pavement just to be polite?

    Of course not.

    Yet many people do exactly that every day — oversharing their struggles, plans, finances, or achievements with anyone who casually asks, “How are you?”

    Here are several ideas, inspired by depth psychology, to help you safeguard your emotional and mental energy.

    1. The “Personal Fog”: Avoid Exact Numbers

    Modern life is obsessed with figures:

    • How much do you make?
    • What did your house cost?
    • How much was your car?
    • How much did you invest?

    Often, these questions are less about curiosity and more about comparison.

    If your number is low, you may face judgment.
    If it’s high, you may trigger envy.

    Instead of giving precise details, respond more generally:

    “Enough to live comfortably.”

    “A fair amount.”

    “Nothing extreme, but I’m content.”

    You’re not being dishonest. You’re protecting your privacy.

    2. Humanizing Your Success

    Visible achievements can create invisible tension.

    When others see your life as flawless, they may project their own frustrations onto you — through criticism, distance, or subtle hostility.

    So when you share success, include the effort behind it:

    • If you were promoted, mention the added responsibility.
    • If you bought a house, talk about the maintenance challenges.
    • If you traveled, mention the exhaustion too.
    • It’s not complaining — it’s staying grounded.

    Perfection separates people. Authenticity connects them.

    3. The “Gray Stone” Approach to Toxic Behavior

    Some individuals thrive on emotional reactions:

    Constant criticism

    Passive-aggressive remarks

    Provocation

    Needless arguments

    Reacting only feeds their behavior.

    Instead, become emotionally neutral — like a gray stone:

    Short responses

    No dramatics

    No explanations

    No arguments

    For example:

    “Maybe.”

    “That’s possible.”

    “I’ll think about it.”

    Without emotional fuel, conflict fades.

    4. Reflecting Excessive Praise

    Genuine compliments are healthy.
    But exaggerated admiration can hide:

    Manipulation

    Unrealistic expectations

    Competitive comparison

    Rather than dismissing praise or letting it inflate your ego, reflect it with balance:

    “Thank you — I had great support.”

    “I appreciate that. I was fortunate to have help.”

    You accept kindness without being placed on a pedestal.

    5. The “Closed Container” During Crisis

    During times of:

    Illness

    Surgery

    Emotional loss

    Psychological struggle

    You need inward focus.

    Sharing every detail widely can invite:

    Other people’s anxiety

    Fearful speculation

    Unwanted opinions

    Emotional pressure

    Healing requires containment.

    Not everyone needs access to your most vulnerable chapters.

    6. The Power of Saying “No” Without Justifying It

    Many people say no — and then rush to explain themselves.

    This creates two problems:

    You sound defensive.

    You invite persuasion.

    A firm, calm “no” is sufficient:

    “I can’t.”

    “That doesn’t work for me.”

    “I’ll pass.”

    No apology. No lengthy explanation.

    Boundaries create respect.

    7. The Value of a Small Imperfection

    When success becomes too polished, it can create distance.

    Absolute perfection often triggers unconscious resistance.

    Allow room for a small, genuine flaw:

    “Yes, the car is great — though it’s not fuel-efficient.”

    “I’m proud of the result, even if the process was tough.”

    You’re not minimizing your achievement.
    You’re keeping it human.

    8. The Modern Trap: Broadcasting Everything Online

    There’s a psychological effect at play:

    When you announce a goal before achieving it, your brain releases dopamine — as if you’ve already succeeded.

    That premature reward can reduce motivation.

    Additionally:

    You absorb early criticism.

    You invite doubt.

    You create unnecessary pressure.

    A wiser approach:

    Share outcomes — not unfinished processes.

    Diploma earned, not enrollment posted.

    House completed, not blueprints shared.

    Goal achieved, not merely promised.

    Silence conserves energy.

    Final Reflections

    Not every question requires a detailed answer.

    Discretion is not weakness — it is emotional maturity.

    Keep meaningful plans within trusted circles.

    Avoid exposing deep emotions to superficial listeners.

    Notice whether curiosity is genuine or competitive.

    Your inner energy is precious.

    True strength does not demand constant visibility.
    It grows quietly — within clear boundaries and intentional privacy.

    Protecting your inner world doesn’t mean isolating yourself.
    It means choosing carefully who is allowed to step inside.

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    My parents sent my daughter a pink dress for her eighth birthday. At first she smiled… then her expression went blank and she quietly asked, “Mommy, what is this?” The second I looked closer, my hands began trembling. I didn’t shed a tear — but the decision I made that night had my parents blowing up my phone nonstop by morning…

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