The story of Phillip Herron is a heartbreaking tale of a single father, unable to handle the pressure of rising debt and providing for three young children. Sadly, an image of him moments before taking his life, alongside his story, has gone viral as it sheds light on the importance of good mental health and a strong support system for men.
Phillip Herron Ends His Life
Sadly, boys are raised to believe that showing any emotion or vulnerability is a sign of weakness. As such, men rarely discuss the weight of their stresses or address how to find support. They’re often embarrassed or ashamed when they shed tears or have to ask for help. However, the story of Phillip Herron reminds men to be kinder to themselves and women to be compassionate regarding their plights.
Hopelessness Takes Over
Phillip Herron was a father of 3 children, struggling to make ends meet, and facing a burdening debt of more than $20,000. In the image, taken moments before his death, he’s sitting in a car, looking hopeless and heartbroken, tears streaming down his face.
A Heartbreaking Feeling
The father wasn’t only in debt but had also been waiting on a delayed payday loan. Phillip Herron had a mere $4.61 in his bank account, at the time of his death. Additionally, he was concerned about telling his children there would be no visit from Santa this year. The heartbroken father noted in a suicide letter that “his children would be better off without him.”
Men Need Support Too
Phillip Herron’s story is heartbreaking but sheds light on issues that impact an alarming majority of the population. Firstly, it points out the negative effects of a rise in costs, while income and benefits have remained the same, or been cut in some cases. Secondly, Phillip Herron’s story highlights men’s daily struggles, feeling there’s no one they can turn to in times of crisis but need good mental health and support too!
Contrary to popular belief, it’s common for men to experience mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or burnout. Rather, 1 in 10 suffers from these issues but less than half will get treatment. Meanwhile, men are 4 times more likely to die by suicide annually, than women. Additionally, symptoms differ for men and women, with men often feeling more societal pressure to be a provider.
Adverse Effects
Like women, men can face further health risks when they’re suffering from mental health disorders. Some examples include:
- Substance abuse or other addictive behaviors
- Problems with the digestive tract
- Heart disease
- Sleep disorders
- An increased risk of stroke
- Rapid changes in weight
Maintaining Mental Health
Because of the stigma regarding men’s health, it’s often difficult for them to address their “inner demons” or wounds. However, they’re not immune to emotions or mental struggles and need support like women do. Yet there are limited resources regarding supporting men like Phillip Herron. Fortunately, awareness and desire for change are increasing and men are gaining more allies. In the meantime, some steps can be taken to help facilitate good mental health.
Crucial Steps
- Maintain friendships
- Identify your support system
- Identify and eliminate unhealthy coping skills
- Find healthy hobbies
- Stay physically active and practice gratitude, mindfulness, or breathing exercises to help ground you and maybe find a new perspective.
- Lastly, (but perhaps most importantly) validate your feelings.
Making time for friendships develops a bond, reinforcing the idea that someone is there for you in tough times, simultaneously while helping you identify your tribe. Plus, healthy hobbies are something friends can do together, getting a break from the stresses of life as well.
Women Have Habits and Supports
Although the struggles of men and women differ, no one is immune to mental health disorders. However, statistically speaking, women have more outlets than men. They’re more social, often having one another to lean on. Furthermore, they’re more likely to join groups with a powerful feminine energy like a book club or morning yoga class in the park. As such, creating a sense of community seemingly helps to stave off certain mental health problems. It’s a model worth considering as men figure out their feelings, matter and should be validated too. While it may be uncomfortable, taking time to identify your feelings and why they matter is a great place to start on the journey to achieving good mental health.
Supporting One Another
Being a single parent is difficult for anyone, let alone having three children. These feelings are normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Phillip Herron struggled with the stresses he faced without feeling like he had a source of support. According to reports, his friends and family had no idea he was having such a tough time. This is more common than most people are aware of. As such, checking in on the people we love and reminding them they’re important. Support is essential, whether or not they’re comfortable with vulnerability or what their gender is. We’re all people who feel a complex range of emotions. It’s tough to navigate that range if society always tells you not to.